Retarded USC Girl

Great weekend.

I need to tell a story that happened to me yesterday... (I am so lazy... that I am just copying it from an email that I sent Eric)

The Turtle Story:

Ok. so it rained for about 30 minutes yesterday.... really hard..... and so I am driving down Alexander Rd in Cayce.... and I have to swerve cause there is a BIG ASS TURTLE in the middle of the road.... I am serious... he was the size of a dinner plate... only slightly oval. Anyway, I pull over... flip on the hazards.... and apparently inspired by the new "Animal Planet" that gamecock cable has afforded us... I set out to rescue this miracle of nature. So picture me.... in the pouring damn rain.... in flip flops... trapsing after a turtle... a big ass turtle... a turtle who... apparently knew exactly where he was going.... and did not want my help... as I picked him up..... instead of shrinking up into his shell and letting me casually place him on the bank leading to the riverwalk.... and not the ghetto where they would eat him (which was the direction he was apparently headed)... he begins flailing his limbs wildly.... like a dog... he tried to swing his head back to bite me.... all while his legs and tail are moving nonstop.... he was not a happy boy. Through this flailing.... he launches out of my hands and onto the grass...... ghetto side.... then takes off like a shot (and this was a turtle!!!!) so in soggy slippery flip flops... treading through about 2 inches of standing water.... I chase after him...... and I finally am able to pick his ass up and hurl/gently place him in a "safe zone". That is the last fucking time i stop to help anything!

posted by Ashlyn @ 7:18 AM