Retarded USC Girl

So... I am at one of those impending crossroads where you look at your life and you really have to wonder if you are doing what you love? Are you really living life? Would you settle for less money and more happiness or more money??? Are you settling? What are the absolute dreams that you want to pursue? When is it time to call it all quits and just deal with the life you have created for yourself? Sure, everyone would love to be the next Tom Cruise (professionally... not the whole "I am a weirdo personally " vibe that he gives off) or Kate Hudson.... but eventually, most of us throw in the towel and decide to be an accountant or a school teacher. And when your job gets to the point where you really hate it.... the absolute mundane day to day of it is like a hammer banging your skull... what do you do? what can you do?

SO that is where I am sitting. I am wondering if I am living my best life. Am I playing it safe? And when does safe become too safe? I like the drama of my life when things are in an uproar. I like the idea of who I could be if I lived like I want to live.

I want to be THAT girl. The one most people talk shit about... I want to have a heart that actually beats between the moments that matter. I want to live for the next random hook up and the next new job. I want to be happy.... but to do that, I have to accept being afraid of the uncontrollable variables in my life... I have to offer that little bit of control that I have up to chance... and I really believe that I am willing to do that.

This could get interesting!

posted by Ashlyn @ 5:54 PM