Retarded USC Girl

So... the Health center tells me I have Strep throat. I get penicillin (I know I know what is this 1972?). My body is apparently not a real fan of the penicillin. I swell up and get a speech impediment (Anita n Eric LOVED that one). I am serious. I woke up, and I was like... Anita.... is my head bigger? She was like yeah. your face is swollen. I was initially like WHEW.... I mean, those sugar free reeses cups should not make me pack on the pounds over night. So.... to make a long story short.... I went to Dr.Youman's... cause he is the best. :) He looks at my throat.... then he gives me a mono test.... which I totally thought was a waste of my blood. Yeah, I totally have Mono.


The good, the bad, and the ugly about mono:
- no cure.... it has to go away on its own
-sore throat and fevers accompanied by headaches
- nicely, Dr. Youmans said "no rough housing. no strenuous activity --- for a month. No kissing boys for 2 weeks, at least. (I translated that -- "no sex for a month... no hooking up for 2 weeks) :) I mean.... how did I get this in the first place.

Ok... also he tells me... i could have had this 4-7 weeks before now.... so that means I have to contact anyone I have kissed or who has drank after me in the past 4-7 weeks. Ok... its great that I am not making these calls to say "you have syphillis now"... but still i feel bad calling people and telling them that I am infectious.

Also found out that my body temp is wierd.... has been my whole life.... I stay a few degrees colder (very Zima) than normal. For me, normal is like 92-95. So like at 97, I have a fever. It's odd. So I have been going around saying "I'm Cold Blooded" and my "frigid Bitch" thing works well now too.

4-7 weeks.... that is a lot to remember.

To make me feel better... MOM got me a spongebob halloween bucket. In all honesty, it did make me feel better. I am a sad sad soul. I think I need to get some movies out of this one too.... nothing would make me feel better than "Clueless" and "Legally Blonde Two"

Oh God.... let me tell you. Mom and I were in walmart picking up meds. So mom goes and uses the bathroom... she knows which one to use too.... the one in the back near layaway... the clean one... She is like in some secret bathroom club.... when you get old and pee a lot... you know these things. So she is in there..... and this lady walks out of the stall... then starts picking her teeth in the mirror.... no washing of the los manos there either.... so mom is like staring her down. Mom relays this story... n then adds "that is how people get shit!" I look at her and I am like... "ok, woman... I have shit... that is the standard procedure on how to get mono... you pick your teeth with shit soaked fingers??"

Mom also had another gem for us... in the frozen section at wally world... she looks at me and says " can you think of anything you want to suck on?" Immediately she freezes and gets this look on her face.... like she knew how dirty it was....

God, I love that woman.... she makes me laugh. She said "You are gonna miss me when I'm gone..." and I thought to myself... "you have no idea..."

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:04 AM