Retarded USC Girl

Pearls are really beautiful.... but when you think about it... oysters are pansies. They have stress management issues. Something gets under their skin... a little piece of sand... and they work and work and work against it and boom... you have a pearl. I wonder if there are some people like that.... in fact, I am almost certain that there are.

I am not one of them... to get so worked up over something... but I do sit and steep. For instance, one thing may annoy me. Let's say for instance that I know someone who bares a striking resemblance to ALF. Now, while there is a hint of nostalgia as I am a big ALF fan, I am not overly impressed by her fugly factor. It actually irritates me. I mean, ALF was cool. She is not. Look at how big of a bitch I am being... but what truly annoys me... and most likely made me notice the ALF reference... was this: She is annoying as hell! I am beginning to know what that piece of sand feels like. Constant random ass comments and a million and one other things ... it drives me up the wall. I think that on a scale of 1 to 10... my initial friendly factor was a 10.... usually I am around an 8 and a half to 9... (not that I have a friendly meter strapped to my ass, but you get the idea). Well, now my friendly factor toward her is at a chilly 5 or 6. I am getting irritated by her and then I'm getting bitchy!

I hate that I can act that way... and more than that, I hate that I can feel that way. I think that there are moments, especially after watching The Sound of Music, when we have these aspirations of being a wonderful, insanely moral person. A good, kind person.... is that too much to ask for? And then you get back into the real world and you realize that you have "mean" thoughts. I mean, let's face it... people are fun to pick on.

Well, at any rate, i am hoping that I can be genuinely nicer... I can fake sweet with the best of them... just call me Splenda! But I am hoping that with time, it will be more natural to be kinder.


.... but I still fully intend to pick on retards, midgets, ALF look-alikes, and children

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:11 AM