Retarded USC Girl

so the audio post made it onto the blog. Woo hoo. That is how I will start doing my updates once my computer access becomes limited.

So... the greatest glory of the fourth.... I sat on my parent's front porch on Sunday night and watched the fireworks of the neighbors while drinking a half a bottle of red wine and smoking more cigarettes than I should have. Nothing screams "independence" like alcoholism and nicotine addiction!

So while I was drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney, I came to a stark realization. My friends will all be married and start new lives relatively soon.... that is what they are aiming for... and I think it will happen. And where will I be? Here are my predictions:

Melissa: She and Ray will be engaged again soon and married within a year.

Buddha: will at the very least be engaged within a year to Nick.

Seth: Seth has more time I think. he doesnt rush into things. I think he will find someone marriage worthy by the time he graduates from Grad School. Not that he doesnt have bachelor potential... he could OWN this town! :)

Randy: Randy will remain the manwhore he is! Womanizing five points like it is nobody's business! Eventually, after several rounds of penicillin, he will settle down.

Me: I will be in my 30s... still drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney, and playing aunt to Buddha and Melissa's kids. I will be visiting my parents on occassion, living in the city, and spending an insane amount of money on shoes for myself and accessories for my dog - which will be my child.


Is this a sad synopsis of the future? Well, maybe.... but if I have a "to-die-for" wardrobe, a small ass, a great apartment, a good job, a nice bank account, my fabulous friends, and a good dog (as the fruit cake lady would say).... I will be happy.


To explain the last post... Buddha was drinking a bottle of Ozarka water... Texas shit... down south, we have to drink dasani...

posted by Ashlyn @ 5:53 AM