Retarded USC Girl

So - about the other day. You know what they say. 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you are with..." Well... in this case, we can scratch the word love and just say WANT. "If you can't be with the one you WANT, WANT the one you're with. That is a little better. So... in my efforts to bed down Hottie McHotterton, I have had to venture off the traditional path and go back to banging Swifty - the man with a penis the size of a well used golf pencil. Ah, I swear.... the dumb ass things I do. Swifty is a BAD lay.... and I mean BAD lay in the sense that his dick is so small we have not actually had sex. Oh - he thinks we have because I am on top and wiggling and moaning and screaming like I am being paid $1.99 a minute to do it.... but the only thing he is successfully fucking is my thigh. I swear... I dont really have the heart to tell him - I mean..... how do you have that conversation? "WEll. look. doll. I am not saying you are bad in bed.... it is just that your dick leaves a lot to be desired???" What is up with this recent epidemic of little packages floating around out there? It's crazy. One small pecker is one too many, if you ask me... and me and a friend have both seen one within days of each other.

What makes this situation so bad is that I have seen a large one lately... a rather impressive one, actually.... and judging from the others I have seen lately.... this one belongs in the Smithsonian. I mean - here is one- built for the stables.... and I can't have it. So damn unfair. So, I will bide my time, having my thigh fucked by the tictac.... until one day ... hopefully one day soon... I will be able to go to the stables and take that horse for a ride. :) Man... I just cant wait to SADDLE up. :)

posted by Ashlyn @ 2:10 PM