Wednesday, July 19, 2006

wow. the time is really flying by... and look at me, a shitty updater. I have like turned into the anti-blogger - the angst of blog hateres everywhere.... you know the type - you start posting religiously... people start reading it, you start needing to type... and then BOOM... the real world sneaks in and takes away that time ... and you realize it has been close to a month since you posted last. .. and usually the update is something dumb like asdfjklmhiiiiiii hahaha. SO, I am not gonna be THAT big of a loser. Here is a legit update.

Life has been pretty good lately. I am working hard... waiting for school to start and spending my days at the health care center - where some choice patients have come in... here is a little run down of things that have amused me lately:
-nasty vaginas - we see, on average like 3 a week. that's just the nasty ones
-rectal abscess "I cant sit down"
-patients who shit themselves
-patients who are nuts and self medicate

Talked to Randy the other day - he is still fabulous and HILLARIOUS.

Jodi is my muchacho. I swear that kid is awesome. He is playing with Vinnie, Charlie and Sam. If you dont know these fellows... let me just equate them to a more upscale version of the other three wisemen Jim, Jack, and Jose'. ... medicinal values only.

One of my coworkers is still a bitch - and I am starting to realize that she may not realize she is being extraodrinarily bitchy. Every office has one just like her.... bad attitude, rough and rude. Did I mention lazy? Yet she constantly talks about how busy she is? lmfao niiiice

I ate spaghetti for lunch today. It was tasty... that was hours ago and I am still tasting it.

My stomach was TORE UP today. I mean, sweet Jesus - I just knew I was gonna shit on myself - or a patient. Anyway, I was doubly nervous because I was wearing white pants. That would have been a mental image NO ONE would have forgotten. My mom told me about a lifeguard at Travis Field pool back in the 60s. He had on a white speedo - went and took a shit and came back, strutting his bod around the pool.... and there it was, a big shit streak bringing up the rear. See, If someone saw me in a hit pink scrub top with lil white elephants on it and white pants with a nice brown swipe up the back - holy shit, I would die. I cant recover from stuff like that. However, Stacy shit on herself in Winn Dixie once - when she was taking Xenical - and she recovered. I wouldnt be able to face the Big WD again.

Life is seeming pretty normal now... settling down... BUT I won a vacation. A cruise and 4 nights at a hotel in the Bahamas. That will be sweet. I have to decide who to take with me lol.. Oh I wonder who it will be????? lol ;) Julie has been talking non stop for the last few months about how we need to go on a cruise.... looks like this will be the perfect opportunity. :)

Buster is still amazing... he is my baby. He rocks. Nothing is more precious than an obese cat.

Oh shit I almost forgot! SO, Friday, I had a PFt done at work - a pulmonary function test. It tells you your lung function... and gives you a "lung age". I smoke cigs and pot, have asthma -- oh and let us not forget that I do have a cold.... anyway, I have the lung function of ... drum roll please "an 86 year old!" Holy shit. I mean... to have the lung function of an 86 year old I may as well have had a penis in my mouth when I blew into the device... no air in these lungs. Jeez. So I decided that I wouldnt smoke until I had a comparison PFT done... this coming Friday. SO that will give me a week of the cigs to see the difference.

But here is the deal - I fucking love my smokes... me and Phillip Morris have been involved in an intimate relationship for years... sure, I may have cheated a few times with RJReynolds... but that is beside the point... me and Philip understand each other. :)

No boy drama to report as my vagina could apparently belong to Mother Teresa... I have been so well behaved. I fear that, except for urination and defecation, I have lost all function in the nether regions. Oh well.... that is why they invented X, right? :)

Anyway, I hope this update will suffice for a bit.. and I promise... if not daily - at least an update twice a week.

Have a good night yall!

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