Retarded USC Girl

I was in Wal*Mart last night. In an attempt to purchase a big ass bag of Splenda, I was on the baking aisle. There was a woman there with her little girl. She was buying everything she needed to make a Spiderman birthday cake. I know this because Supermom was telling me the whole story about how she couldn't find black icing. "And how can you make a web on a Spiderman cake without black icing?" Well, then she was looking for plain white icing. Her daughter found a tub of classic white Pillsbury icing. The mother snapped, with an air of authority, I might add, "No. That is Pillsbury. I ONLY buy Betty Crocker! If I used that, everyone would be wondering what had happened to my cake!"

Clearly, for but a fleeting moment, I felt I was in the presence of Martha Stewart herself. I mean come on, people.... When it gets to the point where your family is full of cake mix connoisseurs, you just need to give up the goat. I bet her recipe for homemade chocolate chip cookies is as follows:

1. Buy a bag of chips ahoy
2. open them
3. put them on a plate
4. pass them off as homemade.

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:06 AM