Retarded USC Girl

I could never run for President or any kind of public office for that matter. I have too shady a past ;) I wouldn't want to concede. Seriously... how amazing was McCain's speech!!??!! I couldn't have done that. My version would have been more like this:

Ok, so, that asshole who has been talking shit about me for the last couple of months thinks he beat my ass, but what he doesn't know is that I think some more ballots are coming in. That's right... some more ballots. And these ballots all say "John Mccain". You heard me.... all of them. And I didn't want to have to bring in the big guns, but we are at the critical hour now... so, I know it's 10:00 and California's polls are closed.... but I say we hang out here and wait until every last ballot is counted. Yep, you heard me right. That should turn things around. And if for some reason unbeknownst to me (I have always wanted to use the word unbeknownst in public) I will unleash my final secret weapon.... a stringarm tactic long known to be effective by the Republican party. Chuck Norris. Yes, you heard me right. Chuck Norris is on standby. He is ready, willing, and more than able to kick some ass tonight if he has to. Recount. We will demand a recount and Chuck Norris will be watching you count the votes... all of you, all across the US, all at the same time... he can do it - he's Chuck Norris. I'm gonna say this one time and one time only.... Stop calling me and telling me to concede... saying it's over. It's not over. It will not be over until John McCain is in the White House.

posted by Ashlyn @ 7:54 AM