Retarded USC Girl

Talking to Buddha makes me so happy. i miss her so much. It is not like I sit around all day and cry about it, but there are moments when I am sitting in the same living room we shared last year or sleeping in her bedroom and I think to myself, "damn. I miss BUddha". The other night, I had to call her because I was sitting outside on the bench smoking a cigarette and drinking yet another cup of coffee, and I knew she would have loved being there, experiencing that exact moment with me. I see a commercial... and I call her. I am reminded of her in sooo many wonderful ways and it kills me because I miss her so much. Every time I slip out the side door to smoke, I miss her. We are still in extreme contact though.... it is not like all is lost. :) Everytime I do something really stupid... she knows. She was the first to be enlightened when I had the most random hookup with a dj ever. Buddha knows all my secrets..... and I like it that way. I miss her so much that I am looking for jobs so i can be closer to her. Am I a Shmuck? no... not really.... I just realized that you have to take chances, you have to live for living, and you have to learn that the things you love must come first.... regardless fo what they may be. :)

So blessed adn happy that at this very moment I have wonderful friends that love me and whom I love very very much.

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:46 AM