Retarded USC Girl

The random things that I saw at work today:

I just HAD to have the one patient that shits on himself. Nothing screams sex appeal like a man with approximately two pounds of dung bringing up the rear. I learned that people eat Vicks Vapor Rub when they are sick.... and drink the version that they are supposed to put into the humidifier..... then when they go to the ER... they say they meant to take NyQuil but grabbed that bottle by mistake. When you see a Pap smear on the schedule for like 4:oo or later... you know its not gonna be good. whew.

Random things that I have seen at work recently:

People refer to the clitoris as "the little man in the boat". People refer to the asshole as the "Donut". People lie to me when they think I am a telemarketer. I have seen urine that looks like coffee... with cream in it. People bring in shit samples... just for the hell of it. I have seen one cool thing... a really feaking infected leg that i was cleaning and dressing.... looked like he was half man/ half steak. awesome! I had a girl ask me if she should just pee into the toilet paper when I needed her to give me a urine sample. "no. the cup would be fine". WTF does she expect me to do? ring it out? Some people's children.

I have been using that phrase a lot these past few weeks. I see something incredibly dumb or retarded and I am like "Some people's children..." The ... is very important. That is the point where my voice just starts to trail off and i start slowly shaking my head. Man... I am southern.

Well... I didnt get much sleep last night. I have come to the realization that I am getting really old. I was tlaking to Randy on the phone last night and he actually said "We are not spring chickens" (this was a conversation regarding Mini Coopers... but it is still relevant). We usually go to bed really early... esp compared to our college days... we were all night owls. Now I am like early to bed, early to rise. I am doing the hair really corkscrew little bo peep curly tomorrow so everyone at owrk can see how retarded my hair can be.... plus I am practicing for wedding hair... 2 weeks till Mo is a married woman....

Anyway... lack of sleep is making me crazy. Oh and NCIS rocked tonight. Nite yall!

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:50 PM