Retarded USC Girl

OK so let me recap last night:

Yesterday I got the new job! woo hoo!

Last night Julie, James, and I go to Red Iguana. We have a few drinks and Julie and I dance a little. WHile we are leaving the bar at like one - cause I am exhausted and James has to work early the next day - we are walking down the street and we pass this homeless guy.... old black guy... and James proceeds to tell him that Julie and I are his hoes and he can have us for the right price. HE wants Julie. We are dying cracking up... it is too funny. Well he keeps talking to julie and apparently she is either too nice or not clever enough to dodge the old guy... so, she is talking to him leaning on a vehicle and he is holding her hand. We are dying. He said his dick was like King Kong. I was like "yeah I doubt that... but she will pay you ten dollars to see it". Well.. james and I go over to my car which is parked in front of Julie's to put my purse down, etc. Julie thinks we are leaving her laone with said black man and she says, "I know yall are not getting into that car!" and we are like.. "No. just putting our stuff down". So, we are hollering shit to her while she is STILL talking to homeless black guy. I hollered, "Come on Julie. You know you like dark meat". So Julie gets rid of the dude- FINALLY and gets into her car where she flips us off. She then pulls over to my window and tells us how NOT FUNNY that was blah blah blah and she is all pissed off at us.

So- I have called her, text messaged her, and emailed her and none have yielded a response. BUT - she has text messaged JAMES! James- not me -But James! I am devastated lol.

Anyway.. great line from the bar last night...

Ashlyn: "Look. I dont let booty pass me by. I see dick, I grab it!"
Julie: "I know! That is why we get kicked out of here every week".

too funny.

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:22 PM