Retarded USC Girl

Ok.... so let me tell you all about today:

Here is something funny: Julie said "he had a flatulent penis". I was like "WTF dude. I would have taken a pic of that too.... was it FLACID". Too funny... man with farting penis. hahaha.

Ok. So, here is the funniest shit of the day... I have a friend named Mike. He is a new friend. I knew his name was Mike J. I sent him a text message today asking if he was back in TN. He replied that NO. He was not back in TN... and I saw his full name on his txt message. His name is Michael Jackson. Ok. I looked at Julie. She looked at me and we cracked up. So I txted him back to say "Yeah. well I know it is hard to pull yourself away from the neverland ranch".

Other remarks included... "moonwalk your ass over here...."
He explained that due to the snow, he was all over the road... I told him to stop "grabbing your crotch and screaming "WHOOOOO!!!"... that can make you swerve". HE said , what can I say "IM BAD".

Too funny.

Ok... I need to say, just for the posterity sake of this blog... I met a boy named Travis. *shakes her head* yall... I cant even get into this one yet... I have to regain my composure before I can comment accurately... I cant even think of what words I would use....to truly convey the sheer nature of the experience. Let me put it to you this way: I have seen men with less... and men with more... but none who were so unaware of what to do with it....



Size doesnt matter. Its the motion of the ocean... Yeah, well you cant get to china in a rowboat.

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:46 PM