Retarded USC Girl

Here is the question I am pondering this evening/morning, etc: WHY the fuck is ass so elusive? No, no, I take that back - why is the RIGHT ass so elusive.... It is so unfucking fair - you see ass that you want.... like a bass running for a shining lure only to discover that there is a fucking hook on the end. Always strings attached. The sad thing.... the really sad thing is that unlike pavlov's dog - I have trouble grasping the concept of a learned behavior - I have ultimate faith that people, deep down, are not the fucking loser douchebags that they seem to be most of the time. I always think "oh it wont happen again", but sadly I see yet another shiny lure and BOOM my dumb ass runs for it... only to taste the sharp sting of that hook. What does a girl have to do to get laid around here?

Now... ass is available... I admit that.... but it is all about getting the RIGHT ass. SO what defines the RIGHT ass? Quite simply here is what I am looking for: someone who is hot with a good strong libido... someone who likes to get naked and bump uglies just as much as I do. I want someone who is funny and fun to be around ( let me stress the fact that I am not looking for a boyfriend... I am just looking for a fuck buddy but I cant stand to be around someone who is a real stick in the mud). I want someone who is not a prude but not a weirdo - I am not ramming butter up anyone's ass. I want someone who is well equipped and not in need of finger cots instead of condoms. I am looking for someone who can measure up if you know what I mean... and who definitely isnt a novice. Most importantly... no strings attached.

Invisible strings have the odd ability to become visible at the most inopportune times. The sad thing - I have found the right ass... only I cant get him with any frequency... which, believe me, sucks... and fucks up the overall dynamics of the fuck buddy relationship. I should come out with a fuckbuddy handbook.... it would save the world a lot of grief.

Good night, Moon. Hope yall are getting more ass than I am.

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:56 PM