Retarded USC Girl

So - I am a little scared that I am gonna get arrested today. Let me explain why:

There is this guy... in Maryville who works for Liberty Tax Service. His job is to dress up in this statue of liberty costume and dance on the side of the road. Well.. we have driven past him on numerous occassions and always thought it would be really funny to dress up in a big green box that said H & R Block and to have a dance off (a la You Got Served). So... today is the day. We are gonna find the box.... paint it after 2pm and then Mr. Liberty Tax Guy - it's on! You are so going down! I am gonna dress up as an H&R block box.... and I am gonna let the dance/fight with the Liberty Tax guy. It will be great! Just hope a cop doesnt ride by (cause this is in the middle of traffic) and think I am a retard and arrest me. He can think I am a retard... cause, well... I am.... but arresting me is a bit much.

In other news... I watched jos all weekend. She peed on me twice... I am so not a fan of golden showers... I know that now. I taught the 4 year old some choice phrases to include:
"You douchebag"
"What are you, some kind of retard?"
"Don't make me put my foot up your ass"
"WHen the fuck did we get icecream"
"I need a shot of whiskey and a piece of ass"

It was fun - to say the least.

Oh.... and I have decided that if I cant get my professional life in order... I am gonna become a nun.. or at least go barhoppin dressed as one.

Oh... and this was the first superbowl sunday in the past three years in which I didnt get laid. I wont lie... the opportunity presented itself... but I opted out...

I am not a saint but I am not a whore either.... For the past two years I was sleeping with only one person.... so dont think I like troll the streets after the big game just looking for someone to pony up some dick.... but I am a big fan of getting laid... and oh how I miss it!

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:25 AM