Retarded USC Girl

Last night, I watched "The Matrix" for the sole reason that Jodi has gotten me thinking about it. His sister is soon to give birth to a baby booy... named Neo. So, I am watching it - and it is still a really good movie. But, I started thinking, if I were Neo - things would have been different.

If I were Neo, first of all, I would have had a penis... but let's leave that aside. I would have been so pissed when my ass woke up on that broke ass ship that resembled a beat up ass version of the sub from "Hunt for Red October" minus one Mr. Connery. I would have been seriously pissed to go from cute, mussy hair to bald and sans eyebrows with big ass fucking holes all over my body. When Tank made me an empty sardine can full of runny ass grits... I would have realized I was living in a world without chocolate and would have asked them to kill me like the Matt Damon/Leonardo DiCaprio scene in "The Departed". "Kill me, just fucking kill me".

Now, it would be cool as shit to fly around and be Mr. Bad Ass in the all black while IN the Matrix, but my ass would never wanna leave. Fuck that ship. I would tell Morpheus that since I was The One, I felt I needed to be THE ONE who spent most of my day IN the Matrix. And while in the Matrix, I would rock it out.

So I guess the greater question is: Would you choose freedom if it meant you would ultimately suffer? You would struggle and fight and have your world turned upside down, but in the end, you would be free?

I think in a real world scenario, I probably would. I mean, I hope I wouldn't totally puss out, but in the Matrix - I dunno. I was watching this documentary on TV and this woman was a victim of a bombing. She had no idea where here child was because of the blast and she was crying for Sadam to come back because under him she knew what was going to happen and didn't live in fear.

Someone is always clammering for control - we are never really free. We like to believe that we are, but there will always be some governing body who decides what we can and cannot do. There will always be boundaries and borders which define how one must live his life. There will always be obligations that must be met in order to live freely or otherwise. And here is the kicker... even if you can escape the bounds of this world... bypass the rules... buy a small island and run it how you like, you still wont be free. You will be a slave to your conscience or whatever mental disorder chooses to rear its head.

Freedom, much like lack of cellulite, is just an illusion. Fat-free, Sugar-free - it looks ok, but when you taste it, you know something is amuck.

posted by Ashlyn @ 5:06 AM