Retarded USC Girl

Such perfection in you
we make an oxymoron of a pair
confidence and cowardice side by side
fingers tangled together in a heap
swinging lightly
hiding behind you
cowering behind you
an abusive relationship
people never know i am there
they see me in glimpses
a good angle
a nice smile
a bright eye
something small
something sort of quiet
a glimmer a passing reflection of me
mainly they see you
towering above me
shielding me
blocking me
protecting me
and hindering me all the while
a balancing act
a house of cards
i emerge
and fall back down
to hide behind u
to dwell in that impending shadow
to feel safe there
as if it were some blanket
making me warm
and i awake with nightmares
and I wrestle free from the blanket
slowly
one finger
one toe at a time
and later....
with the blanket a memory...
i stand
and i am the girl you look at
not you
not the abusive relationship
no more oxymorons
one face
all the time
not two
no more cages
no more bars
free from the prisons
I cast myself into
self loathing-- my crime.
Free from the shadow
And embracing the light
Free from the blanket
and feeling true warmth
One person now --
Not two.
The girl within
has made her presence known
taken her form
accepted her place
and burned a chlostrophobic blanket
and she did it on her own
for she was the only one who could

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:23 AM