Retarded USC Girl

remember me? damn i am such a loser... i havent updated this thing in forever.,... so this update will be a good one. Let me catch you up on all the gossip and goings-on since I moved to Tennessee. Oh... USC played UT last weekend.... and kicked some major volunteer ass! very very nice. By the way, whose fucking mascot is a volunteer? I mean, what the fuck?? a mascot is supposed to be a little intimidating.. or at least in the case of both USCs (east coast n west coast) have a sexual connotation. I think "volunteer" and I picture like salvation army.

so here i am, in the land of orange... makes me think of clemson... and I can actually feel my stomach turning. skunks are everywhere here... but they are referred to as "pole cats".

Work is grrrrreat. I love my job. Once again, I am working with fun people, but i have to admit that i seriously miss the peeps from training. We talk practically everyday.... actually talked to three of them tonight - representing Omaha, DC, and Chicago. I met the most amazing people... and we had an awesome time... some of the highlights..-a little powder, a little paint, gives tracey a new outfit, mike as the smurf, telling Mike why Mexicans wear cowboy boots to cross the border, the willy wonka hoe.... endless endless fun.... our brief stint to Canada.... but Tom, poor Tom.. who I shall now refer to as code name "UNTOUCHABLE" is unreachable. No one has heard a peep from his ass... and we miss Tom.

OH.... I made a big purchase. I ordered a couch. In fact, I signed my life away for a couch worth more than my car. I paid 1500 for a fucking couch.... but she is beautiful... a lovely lovely lovely red sectional.

I want a dog. I miss my friends in sc. I miss my social life in sc. i need to find more of one here than just hanging out with queers n retards. dont get me wrong/./. i love queers and retards equally.... but i need normal people to throw into the mix.... so i can have a cocktail party and i will have someone to laugh with as we see the queers staring down the mini sausages. i miss my mom. i have been missing her a lot lately. I saw my aunt, her sister, last week... and they have the same laugh and almost the same hug... it made me think of mom and I missed her so much I could barewly breathe. she loved halloween. thank god she didnt love sex... cause then everytime i got laid i would think of her... and talk about ruining it for me. :) speaking of getting laid..... the well is running dry. this is the longest i have gone without ass since there wasnt any grass on the field. I mean damn I am not a machine here... two months is a life time.

and dont you just love seeing the last person you slept when you stroll into a bar... granted he owns the bar and you figure he will be there.... but there is this lingering unspoken sentence that screams " i have seen you naked". Then you laugh to yourself, shake your head, and say "what a waste..." Ahhh the dilemma. I will update again soon.... cross my heart.

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:58 PM 0 comments