Retarded USC Girl

Today was a good day.... but let me start with last night. Last night - we had a blast.

We started on two bottles of wine. We sent out for two more.... and yet again we had to send out for more wine. Ahh, what an evening. The only part I even regret remotely was the fact that the drunk dials of cell phone roulette starting coming out. Let me just say.... A TON of calls were made from my phone last night. I only made 4 of them. LMFAO. niiice. Oh dear. I have received several calls today from peeps asking for explanations. I can only offer one : merlot.

Oh and Crystal - for real, hang your head in shame for being a poo-nah-nah. ;)

Today - Today we went shopping with Larry, Cassie, and the kids. It was tons of fun... and besides, everyone knows how I like to shop.


But on a greater level, I have to ask this question. In the whirlwind of our lives.... why do we end up feeling inconsequential? When all of this glitz and glam is spinning all around us... why is it that we allow ourselves to become insignificant? Now, granted, I know some people with ego complexes. They think they are too important or really havent got a handle on their actual station in life.... but on the whole, I have noticed that many of us let ourselves fall to the wayside. And even when we havent fallen... we convince ourselves that we have. I dunno... odd condition..

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:31 PM 0 comments

Turkey Day is over… so I guess it is time for me to say what I am really thankful for:
· Sex and the City … may it rest in peace.
· My family
· Buster
· My amazing friends
· The internet
· Pornography (not the homemade kind)
· The fact that I am finally realizing what and who I want to be.
· Blogging. It is sad to admit how much I love to blog. I am a sad sad soul, but it gives me to chance to say the things that I just can’t say in real life. For example, I love my parents, but they would shit if they knew half of the messes I have gotten myself into. So, I say it on here. When I am pissy, angry, or happy – I can say it on here. When I am horny; however, I go to Yahoo Chat. JK.
· Cranberry sauce – without it, Thanksgiving is a sham.
· Cole Haan, Coach, Kate Spade – giving me a reason to live… and love.
· Glamour, Cosmo, Vogue –keeping me literate
· AA – keeping me sober ;) Seriously, I am thankful for alcohol… not that I am like a huge fan of going out and getting shit-faced, but the other night I had a few glasses of cheap wine – and it was really very nice.
· The Griswolds. They make my family look like geniuses.
· Seth and James – the last of the good boys.
o Seth, I was eating a banana SPLIT and the bananas were cut to resemble BUNNY EARS, but I ate it too fast and I got brain freeze. Man, I was in HORRIBLE PAIN. Hee hee hee hee hee.

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:20 AM 1 comments

Thanksgiving Eve is here, and I admit that I am typing this with that wonderful warm feeling - not from the joy of the season and there is no glimmer of nostalgia in my eye. I have the warmth that a bottle of cheap wine can bestow and the glimmer of fatigue in my eye.

I like Thanksgiving. My favorite commercial is once again on the air "Triptopan" LMFAO. that cracks my shit up. The new phrase is "back in 88 ....".

What am I thankful for this year? Well, at present... I am thankful for Wal*Mart and their shitty wine selection, but I will comment more on the actual holiday tomorrow. Even though I am Southern, I can only handle so much football tomorrow and I will be back in front of the KB tomorrow - like the dork that I am.

;) good night, moon..... and Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat too much ... drink too much... watch too much football.... and when you throw up all that excess, may you not get a drop on your shoes.... or sweater. If you are a laxative junkie like I intend to be tomorrow, may you make it to the bathroom in time. God Bless.

posted by Ashlyn @ 7:17 PM 0 comments

in all honesty, i like the way the world can go all topsy turvy on you in an instant. Imagine how absolutely boring it would be if every day was the same thing... I love the movie Pleasantville and it would be a dream to live in that world of the black and white tv sitcom, but on a greater level.... the movie makes a great statement. There are things that are better than perfection.

"I know you want it to stay ´Pleasant´ around here, but, there are so many things that are so much better: like Silly... or Sexy... or Dangerous... or Wild... or Brief... And every one of those things is in you all the time if you just have the guts to look for them." -- Pleasantville (David)

Silly - I live for it.
Sexy - This is the ultimate. Whether it is a dress or those strappy new Fall Cole Haans... or a person... or a perfume... Sexy is absolutely electrifying (this is too true and borderline scary for seth cough*horrible pain*cough)
Dangerous - anyone who has ever ridden with me has come to know this one well.
Wild - a great one!!
Brief - childhood wouldn't be so wonderful if it lasted all our life. I never appreciated it when I had it, the same thing with my days in high school and then college. The brevity of the situation hosts the nostalgia.

I really love "Pleasantville". If you haven't seen it - by all means, rent the fucker. :)

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:33 PM 0 comments

Carolina was provoked. That is all I am gonna say about that.

Well, actually.... while on the subject, I will say a little bit more. I bleed garnet. No questions asked. I am a Carolina fan to the core. As Seth Edwards said it best, "I dont care if we are playing the school for the deaf and the blind, you had better be cheering for Carolina!" It's true. There is no greater love of football than that shared by those chosen few who worship Carolina. When our players take the field - a smile is on our faces. This could be caused by the 6 hours of pre-game tailgating, but I like to think that is is from the absolute joy of knowing that Carolina is going to dominate this season. So a season passes and the domination wasn't complete lol, but somehow that doesnt matter. We say "Wait until next year", and we mean it, but the greater objective is this: it doesnt matter if we win or lose. It simply matters that we play. Now a Clemson fan reading this, assuming they can read, will say "Oh what a loser. winning matters, blah blah blah". I see that perspective and I admit - winning is fun. Winning really is the whole objective of the game. Two teams dont charge the field in an effort to tie, but unlike Clemson, Carolina stands for a lot more than football. When we watch a game, those of us who are alumni fondly remember our days at USC. The hallowed halls are no longer a memory, but a vivid depiction. We remember the laughter, the fun, the beer, and the professors that made our experiences great. We look back and for a brief while, we are once again overwhelmed with love for Carolina.

The Carolina fan is well aware of the Carolinian Creed. It is a doctrine of behavior, a mere code of conduct that is more than civil and more than ethical. It is sound. It is good. It is something that your University 101 professor will make you memorize, the University will make you live by, and in the end, you will choose to live by it. And then you sit in the stands or on your couch and watch the action from Death Valley: Carolina @ Clemson.

There you see it: a Clemson player strike a Carolina boy. The travesty! So naturally, Carolina retaliates. I am not condoning violence. I am a lover not a fighter lol, but the truth of the matter is this: we kicked Clemson ass. Maybe the scoreboard didnt show it - but the state troopers and everyone watching at home sure did. The proverbial can of whoop ass was opened... and it was apparently purchased at Sams.

So, we are not going to a bowl. Big deal. In ten years, hell make that two - no one but a dorky sports guru will remember that Carolina and Clemson declined bids for bowls. No one is gonna care about that. What is one more game? What they will remember is that glorious brawl that unfolded on that field. They will remember the look on Lou's face, the gestures of the players, and the Clemson guy getting the shit beat out of him with his own helmet.... oh yeah and as an after thought, they will remember that Clemson won. But I think that it is safe to say that they may have won the battle, but they certainly have not won the war.

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:36 AM 1 comments