Thursday, January 20, 2005

You know, have you ever wanted to use a phrase in casual conversation and then all of the sudden, you realize you have absolutely no idea what the phrase means. Example: You don't know shit from shine-o-la. Well, excuse me, but what the fuck is shine-o-la? I mean really. I use the word "Bo" a lot. Bo is a noun, a verb, a subject, a predicate, and adjective. It is great. It is in fact, a nonsense word... on par with Shine-o-la. I am not even sure how to fucking spell shine-o-la. Anyway, these nonsense worlds have really woven themselves into the fabric of my vernacular. Here are just a few choice words that I have noticed myself saying.

1. Bo
2. shine-o-la
3. thing-a-ma-jiggy
4. do-hickey
5. sike (before you say, "dork", this one is used in extreme moderation... and usually after a lot of alcohol.
6. dude (yeah, I know, right)
7. tee hee (gay laugh)
8. wanker
9. shitbird (this is a term of endearment as well as fucktard, shitbritches, and colostomy-bag-boy)
10. mos def (this is like so 1982. I mean, come on. Will you be in Cola Saturday night? Oh yeah. mos def. It is fucking contagious though)
11. fuck. I use this all the time. Think of the expressions though "Fuck you!" "Go fuck yourself!", "Fuck off"... those, in context can make sense. But when we say, "What the fuck?" I mean really use the legitimate definitions of the word and you will be scratching your head (if u have lice) and saying, "What the fuck was I thinking?" These gay ass expressions really catch on... mainly because people like me use them.... constantly. Fuck me. Keanu Reeves really turned the old standard of "Fuck you" around when he said "Fuck me." in Speed. This is a much better sentiment. This implies good times on the road ahead. Better than the standard ship-shape ole fuck you.
12. Fuck you up the goat ass is an exception to the rule. This will always be a classic.

posted by Ashlyn @ 5:19 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Seth will one day drive a taco. Don't ask.

DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY:

SETH WAS INVOLVED IN AN ACT OF BIOTERRORISM. CHEMICAL WEAPONS WERE USED IN THE FORM OF GARLIC. THE PERPETRATOR WAS A YOUNG WHITE POTENTIALLY LESBIAN FEMALE. RUMOR HAS IT SHE IS NOT CAMERA SHY. IF YOU SHOULD SPOT THE TERRORISTA PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO MANHANDLE HER. THIS WILL FORCE HER TO TRY AND ARRANGE A SEXUAL RENDEZVOUS WITH YOU, HER, AND A KINKY TRAVEL AGENT.

POOR POOR SETH. HE IS A BRAVE SOUL.


posted by Ashlyn @ 6:39 PM 0 comments

Sunday, January 16, 2005

So last night, when surrounded by options... I chose the one road that I usually never do - I decided to behave. Crystal told me that she found a theme song for me: "I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight". I laughed and then the more I started ot think about it..... lol. No, seriously, there is not hating myself in the morning. I do tend to live regret free. Let's just say I was taking Melissa's advice from a week ago. Why be with one person when you have feelings for someone else?

Well, to be honest. I know I should take Mo's advice. She is right with the success rate of a condom or a home pregnancy test 99.9999. So much fun can be found in that little.0001 though. lmfao.

I plan to spend the day just shooting the shit and goofing off... smoking cigarettes and drinking diet coke. ah, sunday is here.... where did my weekend go so quickly?

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:49 AM 0 comments