Retarded USC Girl

I have been a slack ass about updating.... but I have been super busy at work.... and then tired once I get home. ... so the web just fell to the wayside.

Anyway.... saw Buddha and Nick for Buddha's B-day. Had a great time. Mo and Ray were there. :) yay!

My Aunt Diane called. She is really my cousin though.... anyway, she said (Great) Uncle Roger isn't doing well. He slipped into a comatose state today and it is just a matter of time now. But right before that happened. He said Louise (his dead wife) came to visit him. A lot of dying people have that happen. They see or talk to the dead. I think it is a neat idea.... the dead come back to help with a transition.... but it is sad too.... really the beginning of the end. He is also really senile right now. He said he couldnt take another bite... not one more... or that galvanized pipe. lol. random.

When Miss. B (Who I LOVE... she was like my grandma) had Alzheimers... she went senile as hell. She is the coolest lady I have ever know though - seriously. I love that woman. She made my first birthday cake, she played cards with us, she ate raw hotdogs, she made us sweep carpet, she gave us tangerines, she wore my grandmother's sweater - with everything. I will always remember her in that sweater. She taught me how to do the whole "there goes a worm" thing when you eat spaghetti, and through her, I learned how much it hurts when someone you love deeply is sick, and then finally I learned the true meaning of grief.

But... as I was saying... the senility... she would walk by the fireplace and throw her glass of tea on it - causally... because clearly, the house was on fire. She would say she was going upstairs -- in a one story home, and for a while there - she thought she was in the Army. Even when she wasn't herself.... I still loved Miss B.

Miss. B is JoAnn's mom. Jo's mother-in-law is currently suffering from Alzheimers. She thought, for a while, that everyone in her house were her servants. Now that was funny.

It scares me though..... to think that maybe one day I wont be in my right mind either - assuming I am even in it now. The worst part of that is the whole "not knowing you are crazy" part. I mean, how horrifying would that be.... and then once you are told you have Alzheimers... sorting out the chronology and the reality.... how scary... maybe knowing you are crazy afterall is worse.

Anyway, Uncle Roger has hung on for an awful lot of years now.... and I think in death lies peace. So, it is my great hope that he no longer knows the sting of pain and can really find peace - peace for body, mind, and soul.

posted by Ashlyn @ 4:01 PM 0 comments

And a new week begins....

I have ot go to Ridgeland this week - so that blows. It is not bad really... that ride is just so aggravating. :( So, I am spending today... and most definitely tomorrow, dreading that. I may spend the night in Ridgeland if we get out really late again. But this is boring....

Here is something good...

...um I am drawing a blank. I am tired. I didnt get but like 2 hours of sleep last night. I was FREEZING. I dunno. no one else in the house was.... but I was shaking in bed. So, I got up. I was wearing pajama pants and a wife beater. I put a long sleeve shirt on over that and some thick socks and I grabbed a quilt.... it was sad. lol. I know my mom keeps the house cold... but damn!

I watched a movie with rob lowe last night. One of those made for tv kinda movies. It was ok. Really predictable.... but that was kinda expected... and yes OH yes... Sex and the City was on last night. God - I love that show.

posted by Ashlyn @ 4:01 PM 0 comments

Things I have been thinking about today:
-You are only as strong as you allow yourself to be.
-You are only as weak as you want to be.
-Temptation is no match for true will power
-Will power is often a code word for OCD
-The things that you want the most in this world are neither hard nor easy... those little adjectives are simply perspective.
-Good things come to those who wait never heard of an early bird special
-Early bird specials and blue plate specials are usually for old people ... or retards. "specials" in general are more likely bad.
-Ferris Bueller rocks. " ...'isms' in my opinion, are not good."
-Late night informercials seduce me. Not those 1-900 ones either.... but I SO wanted to buy that juicer tonight. Thank God I settled for that step/aerobic/dvd/blaster thing.
-I am an impulse buyer
-I am just a "buyer" impulse or not. I have little to no control. I told myself all day that I needed to save money for school.... then I whip out the Visa and the phone. so sad.
-I don't need chocolate to survive
-I am probably a weirdo... like if I passed me on the street... I would whisper nasty comments.
-I am also a bitch.
-I am indecisive.
-Ok, maybe I am decisive
-Yeah, not really. :)
-I am glutton for punishment
-I forgot how old I was.... "wait! am I 22 or 23!?! Oh, god!" Thank God for Melissa, "Oh, you do that too!?!"
-I am in the middle of the "wedding season".... everyone is either engaged, about to be engaged, or thinking about marriage and wanting marriage and AHHHHHHH!!!!! I can't take it anymore.
-I am perfectly content with the idea of being 25, 30, 35, 40, 104 and single. I like single. I wear single well. The only problem I have with "single" is that you never know where your next piece of ass may come from.
-I love shoes more than some people love their kids.
-Friendships linger.... even if only on the edges of your heart.... they fade from memory a bit, but they are always there.... even when they "ended" badly..

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:20 AM 0 comments