Saturday, September 20, 2003

.... and the head ache returns... so no party for me.... sleep and a diet coke and enough advil to kill a lab rat. Why do I keep doing this to myself.....

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:36 PM 0 comments

I am working my way slowly but surely into the "I dont givea shit about anything mode".... and that scares me... I like givinga shit about things... feeling things,.... but when all forces around you are negative in some way or making you negative.... you have to adapt. It is time for a change of scenery. .... I just hope I find one soon enough.

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:26 PM 0 comments

Today = One of those days.... never EVER will I wish on any of my enemies the pain I had yesterday and today.... a hangover before going to bed.... means a hard time trying to fall asleep n then when you wake up, it means pain.... but onward through the fog I went to go and get a pedicure and then straight back to bed. Pedicure was really nice too, I must admit. But back in bed.... then I get up and go down to the desk and work there for an hour.... and Larry is in town... and I am gonna go and meet him and james now. I am stressed. I hate my fucking job... I hate getting snapped and and I hate getting told to readjust my attitude when I am pissy. I think living in reality and not putting up a false face is well --- really FUCKING IMPORTANT. I dunno.... why do I contuinue to work for something that I cant believe in. Its like summer campy meets new regime. I dont like it.... the residents... they are awesome.... they really are.... I just hate the desk and the bulletin boards and all that bullshit that is tedious as hell. I hate the idiotic ideal of hall meetigns every 2 weeks, the weekly one on ones and the weekly staff meetings coupled with occassional staff developments.

We meet n meet n meet.... and I see my personal life flipping into the crapper. Next semester, I want to live with the Delta Gammas in South Tower. I have to.... seriously, that is the only way I can keep my sanity. It is really sad too.... because my boys are AWESOME.... but I think that they deserve an RA who can swallow the horseshit and enjoy the taste... and that just isnt me.

and one more time for good measure: fuck the bullshit (i.e. Blackboard)

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:42 PM 0 comments

Friday, September 19, 2003

my eyes are getting so heavy
and my ass is dragging....
speaking of ass ---- i have like four of them today.
I dont understand
wedgy from hell right nwo as I attempt to wriggle free from it without blatantly picking the old el asso holeo.

I close my eyes and roll my neck around
In those short moments when my eyes are closed I can see me on my futon
Sleeping like a baby
and that is a nice image indeed.

posted by Ashlyn @ 8:53 AM 0 comments

So last night ---- history book material... swear. I fake vomitted for Stef... it was great. Skipper once again managed to keep me awake until wee hours (am at work now and have yet to go to bed.... wont nap until like after 5pm), I had buddha speak with the pride of Carolina (our very own number 76), I called a DJ (as per usual), I drank the JOOICE. Man, what a night. I kinda wish I was in my bed all snug and curled up and blissfully off in a land where thoughts morph into something better, alarm clocks have some harmony, and the Maxim jokes never cease. It was a good night and a good morning and I am beginning to believe that all is right in the world. Not to mention some fun fun fun messages on my phone.

today ahs the potential to be a very good day indeed :)

posted by Ashlyn @ 5:30 AM 0 comments

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Did you know that you get paid 24 bux an hour to be a phone sex operator. I am serious. Hello Mr. Second Job. Last night I talked to this ARMY recruiter for a long time... n Anita was like you should be a phone sex operator, you have the voice for it.... so we looked it up.... 24 bux an hour.... unfortunately, I would totally start laughing at people. Not to mention the fact that my parents would disown me.... but with 24 bux an hour, i could afford to buy a new family.

It's a good day. I made a fucking 60 on my econ quiz... not a happy girl in that respect... but oh well. My case study is being turned in tonight for IBUS and we are going to the movies tonight to see "Once Upon a Time in Mexico". I am looking forward to that... to say the least.

I need to take pics tonight of us girls hanging out and post them on here tomorrow.

5 exams next week.... so this weekend, i study --- and I mean it this time. I have Staff Development Sunday.... bestill my excitement.

:) smiling anyway. Saw Kendal, my Big Sis today! yay!

*trying to find the lyrics to this amazing song.....driving me crazy*

*Who's da bitch now.....*

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:38 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Trannie told me that once at the hospital, a lady came in becuase she had swallowed the motherload of chump change. Trannie said, "I didnt want to count the money". That made me laugh until I cried. That and the dead hamsters they pulled from people's asses.

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:50 PM 0 comments

Walking into a room
that was vacated hours ago
cold metal chairs
and clean table tops
flipping on the lights
the flourescent bulbs shudder
before blasting white light
glares on the clean table tops
reflections on the metal chairs
*Blood splattered on the wall (Scene from a horror movie)
*Underwear draped over metal chair.... table top no longer so clean (scene from a porno movie)
*Blood splattered on wall and underwear on chair and not so clean table top (scene from NYPD Blue)


See how easily one little bitty thing can change the big picture so completely.

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:57 AM 0 comments

*boys suck*

I'm irritated and aggravated.... pissed off and annoyed. It is a sad realization when you realize that you are working towards a cause that is pointless.... its like strolling into an abortion clinic when you are 8 and a half months pregnant. I mean really... what are they gonna do? I will get over it.....but I can still smile because I refuse to lie to people.... If asked if I use blackboard because I liek it.... if asked if I like it.... I will be honest. I will say "Asbolutely not. It is awful, etc." I dont see the point in lying... and I certainly dont see the point in peddling off this crap ass program like its such an amazing and wondeful tool. The student body is not quasi-retarded, so they know this.... the administration just needs to accept it.

On a brighter note.... I am going to Locals Live tonight. Afterall, it's wednesday!

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:36 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

I didnt make it to Econ today. Which sucks because I honestly love that class, but I ahd to do some homework for a case study that is due tonight.... only it didnt take nearly as long as I thought it would... so i could have gone to class afterall. I suck... really pathetic. Anyway.... Last night I stayed up until 6am with Tim (until he went to bed) Skipper. He is too much fun. you have to love those Aiken kids... and the British ones. Skipper is NOT a Scottish rapist... regardless if the USCPD give him 3 snaps in a Z formation. Chris is a "raw dog". I have an RA meeting tonight.... and I am tired and dont want to go to it.... but then do any of us ever want to go to those?

So I chatted on the phone last night .... smirk smirk smirk is all I am gonna say.

I have the feeling that today --- today is gonan be a good day.

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:14 PM 0 comments

Monday, September 15, 2003

On my way through 5 points at lunch today.... I saw an ambulance at Hardees. I guess that 2/3 lb of Angus Beef finally did someone in.

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:41 AM 0 comments

So you go through the motions and you hate yourself for it... never really finding your niche.... and you live a life that looks good on the surface... all taken care of... a neat little package.... and you know that it is a good one too..... but for some reason... you keep picking.... one corner isnt striaght or something si rumpled or bent of stained.... and you take something perfect --- or so close to perfect its scary... and you throw it away. near perfect is painful ebcause it reminds us that perfection is so very far away. Today... I am not picking at anything... I am intent on the fact that it will be a good day.

I am in the BA now... getting ready for class.... rolling details of a phone call over in my mind. Someone I know I shouldnt even be talking to.l... logically, but it is still fun to say the least. Then the one person I want to be tlaking too, I am not. Such a mixed up little soap opera here. lol.

Details later as they come .....

posted by Ashlyn @ 7:44 AM 0 comments

Sunday, September 14, 2003

So.... you always go into a crowded room.... and you point out "THAT" guy. You know... the mullet... or as I was informed today... the "skullett" and you say "WHAT A LOSER!".... then a phone call later.... you realize.... to some people .... you are THAT guy or girl. such a low blow.

posted by Ashlyn @ 4:40 PM 0 comments