Saturday, March 25, 2006

I am just not pleasant right now... not happy... and I am not sure exactly of what it will take to make me happy. Its like I took a nose dive into the crapper. I just want to rewind... I want things to be like they were years ago when my mom was still here... I miss her so much.

posted by Ashlyn @ 7:43 PM 0 comments

I'm tired... of everything except Counting Crows... still love them.... listening to Long December now off my myspace page. "maybe this year will be better than the last..." I wish.

Jack is still an ass LOL. He looks at myspace and tells me not to be so emotional... whatever. I can barely breathe right now. I am just depressed as shit.... and its driving me crazy... i cant stand feeling like this.

So its Saturday.... and here I sit..... same as yesterday.... Sorry I am not more upbeat. I wish I was... but I am just stuck in a rut... a big fat rut.

posted by Ashlyn @ 8:42 AM 0 comments

Thursday, March 23, 2006

OK. I just heard the best thing EVER. A friend has never had anal sex. The following quote is in regards to a conversation we just had about her and one of her lovers.

Her: "If I am going to it... he is going to be my first. "
ME: "Really. awwww. "
Her: "Well yeh. all the others wear MAGNUMS".
Me: "OMFG. Well, You're not dumb".

I cracked the fuck up. LMFAO

posted by Ashlyn @ 8:14 PM 0 comments

sometimes, life is just gonna suck....

Today has not been a great day. I was reading through some old entries on this blog from back in 2003 and I stumbled on an entry about me and my mom, here is a snippet:

Oh God.... let me tell you. Mom and I were in walmart picking up meds. So mom goes and uses the bathroom... she knows which one to use too.... the one in the back near layaway... the clean one... She is like in some secret bathroom club.... when you get old and pee a lot... you know these things. So she is in there..... and this lady walks out of the stall... then starts picking her teeth in the mirror.... no washing of the los manos there either.... so mom is like staring her down. Mom relays this story... n then adds "that is how people get shit!" I look at her and I am like... "ok, woman... I have shit... that is the standard procedure on how to get mono... you pick your teeth with shit soaked fingers??"Mom also had another gem for us... in the frozen section at wally world... she looks at me and says " can you think of anything you want to suck on?" Immediately she freezes and gets this look on her face.... like she knew how dirty it was.... God, I love that woman.... she makes me laugh. She said "You are gonna miss me when I'm gone..." and I thought to myself... "you have no idea..."

God I miss her so much that I cant even describe the pain that accompanies the feeling.

posted by Ashlyn @ 3:55 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

there are men in this world who are a disgrace to their gender. I had written a much longer entry in which I used more profanity than all the archives of this blog combined. I deleted that entry upon realizing that quite simply... he isnt worth the time or attention. I will simply say this: There is a "man" who is truly a boy among men in every way imaginable.... and if a drunk girl is in sight, well, I fear for her because he is by no means a gentleman.... and has absolutely no redeeming moral virtue.... and just in case she is into drunk sex, dont worry hon... he has the smallest dick in the free world and absolutely no idea how to use it. Sex isnt possible it is so small... I have discussed him before.

In more pleasant news.... smoked some seriously nice weed this week. On two occassions I obtained a VERY nice high. :) What do we do when we run out of weed? We go for the catnip! hahaha. Jodi cut a screen out of the screen door just so we could try smoking catnip once we ran out of weed... now that was some funny shit.

Also.... one night I was baked out of my skull... yummy.... and I was coming down ... going to bed Julie and I are in the same room and we are chatting.... and she says "sometimes, i forget that I am real..." To which, I respond "I must be so high... you are getting a contact high just looking at me". :) Julie is Ms. Sober, just so you know.

Also.... I think this is funny.... Bobby is feeding Julie's animals while we went on spring break. I left a list of all the animals and how much food to give them, etc. I gave specific instructions on feeding the sugarglider. "Make sure he sees you feed him... or he will not realize he has been fed and he will starve" then we propped his cage door open to look like he escaped. The sugar glider actually died last week. So... we could just imagine him looking for the damn thing thinking the cat ate it.... funny shit... well, at least we thought so. :) lol

posted by Ashlyn @ 8:06 PM 0 comments