Retarded USC Girl

So here is the update on what's been going down the past few days.

I went to see Julie the other night.... we were drinking as per usual.... I then ended up watching "Harold and Kumar..." with a very cute boy. Ah, the art of the random hookup. So I can better explain this story... I will use fake names as I often do... let me call him something generic... and random... oh I dunno... why don't we just call him Bobby Sadler - yeah that will work. So... Bobby is a cutie... I'd even go so far as to call him Hottie McHotterton. You know there are just some movies that you will never be able to look at quite the same.

In other news.... Julie and I went out to the Red Iguana and yours truly got absolutely hammered. So... I got hot and took my shirt off in traffic.... nice. I just love traffic. There is nothing quite as fun as just hollering at people in passing vehicles.

I hate my job - but I LOVE Tennessee. I mean.... the weather is nice, the view is great, and there are too many boys here.... you can drink in the testosterone along with the whiskey. With this abundance of boys, I am left to think about the games that I have played in the past. Yeah, you know me... that is sorta what I do. I mean, hell... half the joy of fucking someone is giving yourself free grounds to fuck with their heads a little. But Julie... as much as I adore her... tells me that she doesnt understand the point of games.... she doesn't play them and that is most likely a wise decision.... but I do play the games... I enjoy every sordid little moment of them -making boundaries.... holding on to numbers as opposed to dialing them.... waiting, anticipation....creating so much sexual tension that when you see the other person, you just can't help but rape him. Julie asked some important questions regarding why I play these games... So... what are the rules? what are the boundaries and the guidelines? Where do you draw the line and when do you make your first move? For all intents and purposes, I have reasonable answers, but then I started asking myself one question - what do you do when you think you have finally found a worthy opponent for the twisted little games you play? Ah.... well you know what they say: "all is fair in love and war".

Oh and some quotes from the week:
_"I had to wear magnifying glasses. You had to wear goggles to keep from putting an eye out" - Julie (upon having a hookup)

_"no one else thinks my witty little comments are witty. I am gonna start saying "Oh yeh. well, Ashlyn would have laughed".

posted by Ashlyn @ 6:37 AM 0 comments

So... I forgot to update on my career as a porn star. Ok.. so here goes: My resume was posted on the internet because I am desperately seeking a new job. Well, as it works out.... this guy saw my resume and calls me... well initially he text messages me. See, he apparently has a "production company" therefore he is given "employer access". Well, he asks me if I would be interested in doing a video. A blowjob video from a point of view angle... just me and him. I laughed my ass off. I am a Republican for the love of God! Republicans dont do porn -- not even the private collection porn... we do snuff films ;) Well, it was all kinda funny... and dude called back several times and I just laughed. I mean... there is no way in hell I am ever ever ever gonna be in a porn..... unless you know, the price is right and everyone I know is dead. lol.

So.. last night I am coming home at like 2:30am - a trucker totally honks at me... he is beside me in traffic.... and he gives me a thumbs up. I was like.. Hmmm I kept thinking about the movie "JoyRide" and how you just dont fuck with truckers lol. It was a USMail 18wheeler. It is funny though.... as degrading as that shit should be - nothing boosts your self esteem quite like a nod from a truck driver .... I mean when they go to all that trouble to repeatedly honk the horn ;)

I am in a good mood. I am gonna go bowling tonight. Oh yeah. I am a crazy bad bowler but I really love to do it. It has been ages since i have bowled until recently... cause we kinda went the other day. I bowled a 100 on one game... that was exciting lol.

I am in a good mood because I have reached some piece of a decision. I need to find a new job. No ifs, ands, or buts. I need a new job by February. I think I can pull it off... at least I hope I can.

Well, I am off. I have phone calls to make... etc etc ad infinitum. Hope everyone gets as drunk as I will tonight.... and tomorrow night - dollar beer... OH YES!

Good night, Moon.

posted by Ashlyn @ 2:24 PM 0 comments