Retarded USC Girl

is it possible? that is the whole topic of today's post. Today... and for a while now, I have just been roaming over the possibilities and the probabilities that encircle my life.

Is it possible to love someone for years, to honestly love him... and then to lack the nerve to tell him? Or is it possible that I am just an idiot and a wussie? I was planning on telling him... not too terribly long ago. I really was... I was geared up for... and then, in one fell swoop, I didn't do it because of all the "is it possible" questions rolling around in my head. "Is it possible to be friends too long. TOO long for the friendship to ever be anything more than just friendship? Is it possible that telling him will ruin the friendship I adore? Is it possible... hmm.

Is it possible to lose a great friend over something stupid... or is more likely that the friendship wasnt that strong to begin with?

Is it possible to lose weight in your hips but gain it in your boobs... without surgical certainty?

Is it possible to know someone three weeks and feel like you have known them your whole life?

It is possible to change once you have figured out that your life is going in the wrong direction... it looks like you are on course, but then all of the sudden, you realize you are reading the wrong map?

Is it possible to wimp out on all the really important stuff and hinder yourself from ever really moving forward?

IS it possible to just wake up one morning and realize you can't stand to be in the same room with yourself?

Is it possible that the things you always thought you wanted were just some huge illusion that you developed over time, and once you finally get your grubby little paws on them, you realize "WTF was I thinking!"

And finally... is it possible that there is one perfect person out there for you.... the honest to god soulmate you find only in Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies... and that one perfect person could see his equal in you.... and being the absolute wussie that you are... you throw it all away because you are too afraid to do anything about it. TOO scared of possible rejection. Too scared to say anything and risk the friendship that you have? So, I guess what I am really asking is this: "Is it possible to just go through the motions and waste your life? Because right now I am desperately wondering if that could be what I am doing?

posted by Ashlyn @ 2:45 PM 0 comments