Thursday, March 09, 2006

So last night at a little after 3am, my cell phone rings. Naturally, I answer it - and I am oh so glad I did. It was Bobby. He had just woken up - alone... in an alley near the bar he had been drinking at. No, he wasnt missing a kidney or something... but his friends left him alone... on a loading dock... in a fucking ALLEY at 3am in shortsleeves!

There are certain rules that come into play in friendships... reagrdless of how great of friends you are.... if I have ben friends with you only a few days, I will not leave you in bar unless you agree for me to (i.e. you are getting ass that night). I left Julie in a bar once, the same bar in question, actually... and I made sure before I left that I had arranged a ride home for her.... see, that is what friends do.

A lot of the phrases that I use to describe certain things that are the absolute constants of a friendship... the givens... are military phrases. Leaving a friend in the bar.... in an alley especially... all alone.... that is breaking the cardinal rule of "no man left behind". I mean, I dont think you should have to take a headcount or something.... but you know who your friends are ... and especially when you are drinking, you need to keep tabs.... leave no man behind. You came together... you leave together (unless of course... someone is getting ass... and then you make arrangements).

Another crucial phrase is "Gotta man down". This was used last week when Julie was on the blind date from hell. I called TGIF and told them we had a man down. They bailed her out of the situation. That is what you do... you bail your friends out... you save them.... that is what you are supposed to do.

And I am definitely the type of friend who will come and pick you up when you are alone and cold and in an alley at 3am. :) Poor thing.

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:13 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

WOW! That last post was depressing lol. Man, that is what staying uplate and nicotine will do to you. So I had fun last night... had a nice dinner.. No ass though. :) I am trying to behave.... I think.

So... Today... today is shaping up pretty well. I wake up from a lil nap, I was reading Pope John Paul IIs book and I fell asleep on the couch... only to wake up to Julie letting me know her booty call had arrived. So, I mosey on into town for a while. It was a true "Sex and the City" moment lol.

I think tonight, I am gonna stay in and go to bed early.... do some laundry and watch some tv. That is really all I have planned... Oh you need to see "Red Eye" - good movie.

posted by Ashlyn @ 12:55 PM 0 comments

Monday, March 06, 2006

I want to be happy. All the things I do... all the changes I make, I tell myself that it is all a part of some grand scheme to make me happy... and maybe it makes me happy... but only for a little while... A friend of mine was using one guy to help her forget about the one she really cared for... and I told her that she only forgot about him for that hour she was with the other guy... and Look at me... that is exactly what I am doing.... I am happy for a while... for those brief moments when I am forgetting who and where I am. Is this the best I can do? Is this the best I can be? What am I really doing with my life? The answer is hard to swallow and I fear that at best, it is a sad one. I am spinning my wheels waiting to get the courage to seize my happiness.... and instead of pretending that I dont know what would inevitably make me happy... I'll admit it to myself... say it outloud... I know who holds my happiness... I know exactly where it is... and its not in Tennessee... as much as I want to pretend that it is.

posted by Ashlyn @ 10:28 PM 0 comments

I want to feel alive.... not average or ordinary or like I am simply breathing. Today, tonight... I want to really feel alive. I want to just let go of all inhibitions and have a fucking amazing time.I want to get drunker than drunk, higher than high, and fucked beyond fucked. I want to just take the bull by the horns.... I want to know that for however long I live... I've really been alive and not just going through the motions of a life less ordinary.

I want to wake up in the morning ( or just before noon). I want to stretch and smile and feel like the day will start out the way it should.... and end with a good bottle of wine and a great piece of ass.

*pauses* The cat, Keyser Soze, just fell off the desk... and it was hillarious.

I want to feel things again... wholeheartedly.... and I think I am getting there... Who knows, we will see...

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:27 PM 0 comments

It has come to my attention that I have not been very clear on the affairs of my dear friend/cousin, Julie. So... when I made the post regarding her fucking the UT guy goodbye, I should have been more specific. There have been three UT guys. Two were students, one was a professor.

I set her up with the professor actually. They were actually perfect for each other. Things didnt work out simply because they were the right people at the wrong time... and so, she fucked him goodbye... and then over the weekend, we ran into him and his ex gf in the fish store in Knoxville which was painfully awkward. I mean, what do you say in a moment like that, "damn. that is a beautiful blow fish"?

And so, she fucked the professor goodbye. The student, the original UT boy - he became elusive. After their first encounter which apparently would be worthy of an escort service... he was not to be heard from again... until last night. Apparently he had been hospitalized... no, not from a sex sprain, but from a blood clot. Imagine that... so now, he is back up for the taking.. and take him, she did. So, she is once again with a UT boy... and much like her favorite cousin, she is enjoying the student body ;)

She told me that I could have Maryville College and she could have UT. :) That works for me.

I'm not sure what else I need to say on here for an update. I havent been laid in DAYS. Since... oh hell... I dunno... was that Thursday maybe? Yes, I think it was. Hopefully that is a situation that will be rectified shortly. :)

Well, I had better go..... but I am quite certain I will update more later.

posted by Ashlyn @ 12:25 PM 0 comments