Wednesday, January 25, 2006

OK so let me recap last night:

Yesterday I got the new job! woo hoo!

Last night Julie, James, and I go to Red Iguana. We have a few drinks and Julie and I dance a little. WHile we are leaving the bar at like one - cause I am exhausted and James has to work early the next day - we are walking down the street and we pass this homeless guy.... old black guy... and James proceeds to tell him that Julie and I are his hoes and he can have us for the right price. HE wants Julie. We are dying cracking up... it is too funny. Well he keeps talking to julie and apparently she is either too nice or not clever enough to dodge the old guy... so, she is talking to him leaning on a vehicle and he is holding her hand. We are dying. He said his dick was like King Kong. I was like "yeah I doubt that... but she will pay you ten dollars to see it". Well.. james and I go over to my car which is parked in front of Julie's to put my purse down, etc. Julie thinks we are leaving her laone with said black man and she says, "I know yall are not getting into that car!" and we are like.. "No. just putting our stuff down". So, we are hollering shit to her while she is STILL talking to homeless black guy. I hollered, "Come on Julie. You know you like dark meat". So Julie gets rid of the dude- FINALLY and gets into her car where she flips us off. She then pulls over to my window and tells us how NOT FUNNY that was blah blah blah and she is all pissed off at us.

So- I have called her, text messaged her, and emailed her and none have yielded a response. BUT - she has text messaged JAMES! James- not me -But James! I am devastated lol.

Anyway.. great line from the bar last night...

Ashlyn: "Look. I dont let booty pass me by. I see dick, I grab it!"
Julie: "I know! That is why we get kicked out of here every week".

too funny.

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:22 PM 0 comments

Monday, January 23, 2006

Not a good idea to say to a guy: "You know... you are almost as good a kisser as Shaun OMalley - when you are not talking to Shaun Omalley... not that I have ever kissed Shaun OMalley lol. funny funny funny. Calling boys by the wrong name - not a good idea. lol.

Had a fun day - new job woo hoo... sounds good!

posted by Ashlyn @ 8:48 PM 0 comments

Monday, Monday.....

So... Let me recap the weekend. Had a nice time. Decided to hang out in Maryville as per usual. Well... the boy I want to saddle up with is dicking me around. He calls me Saturday morning at like 3am while I am watching Dallas reruns and wants to come over... I say no. Afterall, it is late and I will be going to bed after JR successfully bitches our Sue Ellen and calls her a slut - again, at which point Sue Ellen turns to yet another bottle of bourbon. So... he doesnt come over. He tells me to call him the next day. Which - I do. However, his phone is off and I roll to voicemail. Ah, lovely lovely. I leave two messages through the course of the evening. Then, Jos plays with my phone after I teach her the word douchebag - she uses it in the voicemail... funny little chica.

I get text messaged to get booty from the usual suspect.... and why not go for it? I mean... granted, ass is available.... but when there is that one piece of ass that you really want to to try... and you cant quite get it.... ahhh, pissin off. I can sleep with random people... but it is kinda like this: if you are craving chocolate.... you can eat a piece of white cake or cheesecake or something equally sweet... and it may satisfy your sweet tooth... but you are still not going to be satisfied until you have chocolate... and it had better be the exact type of chocolate you were craving.

Wow - now it sounds like Bobby is a black guy. lmfao.

Some of the new quotes:
"Hope you feel better soon, Bobby" - when said to Eddie by mistake. lol. ouch!
"We just need to get laid"
"Oh shit. guess who just pulled up. dont look. dont look! 5'oclock!!!!"


VERY VERY DIRTY TEXT MESSAGES ON MY PHONE.... ahhhh good times. good times.

Why is it that you only cross someone's mind when they are high/drunk/horny -and why are we never high/drunk/horny at the same time? So frikkin unfair......

*Definitely tired of being an investigator.... it super sucks - ready for a new job - interview at 2pm today.* wish me luck!

posted by Ashlyn @ 9:36 AM 0 comments