Thursday, March 20, 2008

So it was a day today.... a pretty good day actually.... in spite of all things to the contrary. Oh, where should I begin? Perhaps with me misreading the laxative bottle? No, maybe with the pitbull that contemplated attacking me at lunch? No, no, let me start with the crabs...

So last night I ate crabs for dinner. They were delicious. Brian had given them to Jill.. she brought me a ton of them. Very delicious. I am on my way home last night and I stop to get pliers so I can crack them open. So I get home and steam them and stand at the counter and take them out of the pot with tongs... plop them on the counter and crack them open with my pliers. I eat until I hurt. I LOVE crabs. It's like a 45 minute process. Well, I am so stuffed that I clean up the kitchen and go straight to bed.

As I am lying in bed, I realize that I havent backed the brown caddy out of the garage in a few days. Dr. Welcker recommended Colace every day while on the uppers. So, I bought a bottle of Colace a few weeks ago. Last night I read the dose 2-4 for an adult. Since I have a pretty high tolerance to laxatives... let alone this mild ass stool softener (which doesnt make you go - but makes it easier when you go) I decided to take 4.

I wake up at 2 o clock on the verge of tears. My stomach is in so much pain. I just know the crabs were bad. I am on and off the pot like a hooker on various penises throughout the night. Finally around 3:30, I grab the bottle of Colace and really read it... REALLY read it. Yeh, I bought Peri-Colace.... it is a stool softener with a STIMULANT LAXATIVE. It was awful man....

So I am feeling better this AM. I go for a walk at lunch. This fucking pit bull keeps charging me and hitting my leg with his snout then running off. I was like "WTF am I gonna do??" He left me alone and went on to harrass another walker.

But it's Thursday... and it's my Friday. Happy Easter!

posted by Ashlyn @ 1:48 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tomorrow is my Friday. Wow, it's nice having a short week. The Easter bunny is on his way! I really would like some chocolate... yum. Instead, I think I will down some bland ass granola. Hey, that which doesn't kill me will give me a smaller ass.

On Easter I like to watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate factory... or Charlie n the Chocolate Factory... whatever it's called. The original - not the Johnny Depp trippin ass wonka flick. I can only watch that movie twice a year - Easter and Halloween because I tend to have a shitload of chocolate on hand. I begin eating when the movie starts... I mean the initial intro credits, etc... and I dont stop till I am in pain. Ah, traditions....

I always liked Easter. Mom was crazy about any holiday involving chocolate. Our baskets were ridiculously loaded down with the goodies and even as an adult - it was always nice.

This year I plan to stay in Hampton and maybe eat some Lean Cuisine Mac n Cheese - who knows, I may go all out and eat a piece of 96% fat free ham!!!

Dieting near the holidays totally sucks ass... but this ass is out of control, so I really can't complain.

I have been trying to join this gym near work. Here is the problem: the number on their sign is disconnected. Scary. But its like a block from work - i drive past it twice a day....

So, I'll close here since this post has been thoroughly boring and I am turning into one of those girls who can only talk about how much or little she eats or works out. SCARY. FORGIVE ME.

posted by Ashlyn @ 11:38 AM 0 comments

Monday, March 17, 2008

So, as far as weekends go - this one was awesome. I seriously had a GREAT time.

Friday:
Off at noon. Went to the beach. Found over 20 sand dollars (or sea dollars as this yank affectionately called them) and a big ass conch shell.
Went to my dads

Saturday:
Cleaned Dad's house in the AM
Went back to Hampton.
Jodi came and had dinner at the Shealys
We cooked some really amazing Thai food - it was so delicious and worth every calorie
Came home and we looked at people's reactions to 2girls1cup on ebaums

Sunday:
We ate pancakes and then decided to head to the beach. It was gorgeous! We walked and walked and walked.... and realized we had walked way too far and we were tired and still had to turn around and walk back to the car.
We ate lunch at Johnson Creek Tavern - super yum
We took pics at Gay Fish Company
Stopped at Old Sheldon Church
I watched "across the universe" which was really very good
and then fell asleep early - happy and exhausted

The only thing that would have made the weekend better - having today off and maybe a piece of ass. This Celibate Suzy shit is gettin kinda old.

I miss my Jodi so much. He is too much fun. We had a really great weekend. It is hard to believe that we have been friends since the 6th grade... eons ago. I remember the 6th grade us.... the highschool us.... the post high school us... the college us.... the post college us.... the current us is much the same... only I think we got cooler with age. I wonder what the 30-something-us will be like...? Hmmm, we are hoping we will be these ultra cool Powerball winners who rock it out at every opportunity, but in case that doesnt happen... I'm still not worried. I have a feeling that we are gonna be fine.

Great, great, weekend

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posted by Ashlyn @ 8:07 AM 0 comments